“I see you went to Duke.” “I noticed you used to work at EMC.” “Congratulations on being named Marketing VP of the Year.” Somewhere, a sales rep is putting the finishing touches on an email that opens just like this. They have researched the prospect, found something flattering to mention, and are feeling pretty good about the effort. They did their homework. They personalized the message. They demonstrated interest. Meanwhile, the person receiving it is trying to figure out what this stranger wants.
That gap deserves our attention. We spend considerable time preparing to make a good impression, then choose an opening that can make the other person uncomfortable. Worse, we mistake our ability to locate information for an understanding of the person behind it. You found a college, a former employer, and an award. That gives you three facts. You still have quite a bit to learn.
Consider how a compliment feels when it comes from someone who knows you. A colleague tells you that you handled a difficult meeting well. A friend says you have always been good at putting people at ease. There is history behind those observations. You understand how that person arrived at them. Now imagine a stranger announcing that you are an extraordinary leader. Based on what, exactly?
The statement may be generous. It may even be sincere. But the person making it has skipped several steps in the relationship, and you are left wondering how quickly the sales pitch will arrive. (Usually before you have finished appreciating your extraordinary leadership.) Salespeople can create this discomfort without realizing it. We want to be warm. We want to establish rapport. We want the prospect to know we made an effort. Those are understandable intentions. The trouble begins when we ask a compliment to accomplish all of them.
Imagine two people talking while waiting for a bartender. One makes an amusing observation, and the other responds, “You’re really funny.” Perfectly innocent, perhaps. But it is also a judgment about someone they met thirty seconds ago. Now change one word: “That’s really funny.” The second version stays inside the moment. It responds to something the person actually said. The speaker can appreciate the observation without claiming to have figured out the person who made it.
That small distinction has a useful application in sales. When I research a prospect, I want to find something they have SAID. Something they have explained, questioned, defended, or described. A point of view gives me somewhere to begin a conversation, and it gives the prospect something meaningful to discuss. Their résumé tells me where they have been. Their words may help me understand what interests them, what they notice, and how they think about their work.
I say “may” deliberately. One interview does not give me access to their entire worldview. It gives me a starting point, with plenty of room for them to add context or correct my interpretation. A rep who opens with “I know exactly what you’re dealing with” has already made a pretty large claim. The prospect may now have to spend the beginning of the conversation explaining why the claim is wrong. A rep who identifies a specific comment and expresses interest leaves the prospect room to teach.
My research starts with the professional communities around the person. Their LinkedIn profile can be helpful, particularly when it points toward associations, industry groups, or organizations where they participate. I am looking for the places where this person might contribute an idea. Membership alone tells me very little. Belonging to an association does not establish what someone believes, how active they are, or whether they care about the issue I sell against. It gives me another place to look.
From there, I search the person’s name alongside the organization. I look for interviews, newsletters, conference appearances, panel discussions, articles, and public comments. I want to get close enough to the original material to understand what was actually said. A headline can sound decisive while the interview underneath it is full of qualifications. A short clip can leave out the sentence that changes the meaning. Someone might be describing a challenge their industry faced several years ago, rather than a problem their company has today. Read the piece. Listen to the relevant discussion. Check the date.
Imagine finding an interview in which a marketing executive describes the difficulty of keeping regional teams consistent while allowing them to respond to local customers. The executive has described a tension, and you can be interested in how they think about it. “You’re clearly an innovative marketing leader” adds very little to that conversation. It gives them a flattering label and leaves them to accept it politely.
An opening might sound like this: “I read your interview in the association’s newsletter. Your comment about giving regional teams more freedom caught my attention. How did you decide which decisions should stay centralized?” The actual language should follow the actual source. But notice what it allows the prospect to do. They can explain a decision. They can describe a tradeoff. They can tell you that your interpretation needs a little work. Any of those responses gives you something useful to learn.
Be just as specific about where you found the information. “I understand that…” and “I’m aware that…” can create an unnecessary mystery. The prospect has to work out whether you spoke with a colleague, read a public article, or made an assumption. Simply name the source: “I found your comments in the conference panel recording.” “I read the interview on your association’s website.” “I saw your post on LinkedIn.”
There is no need to make ordinary research sound like intelligence gathering. You looked something up. That is a reasonable thing to do before contacting someone. A clear source helps the prospect recognize the reference and puts both of you in the same conversation. Accuracy matters here, too. If you read a summary, you read a summary. If you watched part of a presentation, you watched part of it. Do not describe yourself as a longtime follower because you found three posts this morning. Your preparation should survive the first follow-up question.
I also like to be clear about the limits of my knowledge. In the right situation, I might begin, “I’m actually not a member of that association, but I read your comments in its newsletter.” That admission takes some pressure out of the exchange. I am making my position clear. I found something interesting in their professional world, and I would like to understand it better.
This can feel uncomfortable for a salesperson who has been trained to establish credibility immediately. We worry that admitting what we do not know will make us look unprepared. Preparation and uncertainty can comfortably occupy the same sentence: “I read your explanation of the regional model. I’m still trying to understand how the central team supports it.” You have shown that you paid attention. You have also identified the part that needs explanation. The prospect can now help you understand something specific, without delivering an introductory lecture on their entire business.
There is a responsibility attached to this approach. Your curiosity has to extend beyond the opening line. If the prospect answers your question and you immediately launch into your standard presentation, the question starts to look like a device. You borrowed their idea to get permission to talk about yourself. Stay with the answer long enough to understand it.
Suppose our hypothetical marketing executive explains that regional autonomy worked well until several teams began creating their own materials. You now have a more specific subject to explore. You might ask how the company decided which materials needed a common standard. If instead they tell you that consistency has never been a problem, accept that answer. Resist the urge to lead them toward the difficulty you were hoping to find.
This is where curiosity becomes visible. The next question reflects what the prospect actually said. Their answer changes the direction of the conversation, even when it complicates your original theory. A prepared student can do that. A salesperson committed to proving an assumption has a harder time.
You can also appreciate an idea without agreeing with every part of it. A prospect who argues for giving local teams more independence may raise a concern you have encountered before. You can explore that concern respectfully, once you understand their reasoning. Automatic agreement can become another form of flattery, especially when it arrives before the person has finished explaining. Give the idea enough attention to have a considered response. Someone has taken the time to describe a difficult decision. Your willingness to think carefully about that decision can make the exchange worthwhile for both of you, even before a commercial opportunity becomes clear.
You will eventually need to contribute your own expertise. The prospect deserves more than an endless sequence of questions. Once you understand enough of the situation, you can explain what you have seen elsewhere, offer a useful perspective, and discuss whether your experience applies. That contribution becomes more useful when you can connect it to something the prospect has explained. You have context for your recommendation and a better sense of where your knowledge ends.
Sometimes your research will turn up very little. Plenty of capable executives rarely publish, speak publicly, or comment online. Their absence from a newsletter is not an invitation to dig through personal details until you find something that feels intimate enough to mention. Use a relevant business event or a clearly attributed company statement instead. Be honest about whose words you found. A company announcement does not automatically represent the personal opinion of every executive who works there.
And keep the research proportionate. You need enough understanding to begin responsibly. Spending an afternoon collecting trivia about one person can make you feel productive while leaving you no better prepared to have a useful exchange. Before reaching out, I want to be able to identify the source, explain the specific idea that interested me, and recognize what I still do not understand. That is a practical place to start.
The prospect can supply the next part. Give them enough space to do it. Listen carefully, especially when their explanation surprises you. Allow their words to improve your understanding of the business and of the person doing the work. A stranger’s compliment asks someone to accept your assessment of them. Thoughtful curiosity gives them an opportunity to speak for themselves. That is a much more comfortable beginning to a relationship.
Happy Selling!®, Jeff